It's amazing how African women crave to be married or be in a relationship. It's either you are disrespected or unrecognised cos you got no man(crown as some tribe call it). So we try real hard to tolerate alot so we can get married or stay married.
Sometimes it turns to abuse but we suck it up n keep our cool cos u can't afford another brake up or not get d guy we av prayed soo long to get. Each day passes and what we think of is 'man'. Don't get me wrong, not trying to generalise for both parties but just my opinion n i think some people will agree with me.
She met a guy (not your typical tall, dark and handsome), but his alright, working n she works too. He wanted it for the long term,not playing games and that seem like a answered prayer. While she still trying to pinch herself to reality, having in mind "if it's too good to be true, then it isn't", but this could be answered prayers of sooo long, "God has just brought me my husband, i have to be positive".
Less than a month into the relationship, the guy starts showing some signs of aggression, rudeness, violence. It's not as fun anymore in just one month? Too early for so much drama, she thought but still held on as no one is perfect and patience they say is the key to any successful relationship.
When he calls, it's either "what took you soo long to answer your call" or "are you to busy to reply my messages", "why did t you tell me you were going to see your friends, tell me why you didn't", why didn't you leave the house when i asked you to, you are not deaf so explain", etc.
When she complained, he said "you no get talk abeg", "are you telling me i cant scold you when you are wrong", "are you too big to listen to me, big girl", etc.
Not beaten her YET, but disrespect, harassment, embarrassment has been like a meal and dude isn't stopping.
He was travelling out of town for work and didn't tell her until he got to the bus station. They had a fall out the previous day and he decided not to tell her about the trip until she called to check up on him and he said he was travelling.
My sincere suggestions as a Nigerian(so i understand how you feel):
*You own your life, and who ever deserves to be happier than you is YOU.
*If a man won't respect you now, he won't later.
*Seat him down, talk to him and make him understand how hurt u feel.
*When he does what you don't like, tell him calmly and if he seem not to care, fire his ass.
At the end of the day, society will talk shit about you either ways, she is old and single, you won't go n marry, what are you waiting for, etc.
But sister, you've got to get it right, you can't wait for long n still get crap if you know what i mean. We are single but not to be strangled.
Leave your comments and suggestions please.