Thursday, 18 February 2016

Your Story My Inspiration - Dolapo

Dolapo is 29 years old. She lives in Lagos with her Accountant husband, who works extremely long hours, and their school-age children. "I'm the cliché lonely housewife," she says.

Sometimes mid last year(2015), i was out to dinner with my friend Yinka when we ran into a few of Yinka's work buddies. We all sat together at the restaurant, and i found myself next to a  guy named Robert. He is a landscape architect, incredibly funny, smart, gentle and we spent the whole night just cracking each other up."

The next day, i got an email from Robert inviting me to lunch. "He knew i was married and had kids, so i didn't see any harm. We were obviously attracted to each other. Nevertheless, i didn't tell my husband about my lunch date. "I still don't know why,maybe i didn't want to upset him for nothing."
Myself and Robert met for lunch that day. And the next. And two days after that. "It was fun, not had fun like that in years, because I'm up all night with the kids or falling asleep at some boring dinner party with my husband and his colleagues. Robert instantly fell into the role of my best friend and confidant. If I didn't see him, we'd talk on the phone — he was the highlight of my day, would call Robert if i had a fight with my husband, and email him anytime i saw or thought of something that would make him laugh.

I told my husband about Robert, stressing the "friend" part, and even hired Robert to work on my parents' house so i could spend more time with him. "I never thought I was cheating on my husband because Robert and I never did anything. Well.......we hold hands sometimes; he'd kiss me on the cheeks, hugs me (especially when am having a hard day). He is like a hot girlfriend, a hot, straight, male girlfriend who was clearly into me. "We've never spoken about it, but you can tell.

After a few months, my husband wanted to meet Robert. I honestly didn't see any harm but after what i thought was a pleasant evening, my husband was visibly upset. "He didn't understand why we were so close and basically ousted him, i think he could tell there was chemistry between us. But if Robert were a woman, my husband wouldn't even have wanted to meet him!"

My husband asked me not to see Robert anymore, "in the nicest, most wounded-puppy-dog kind of way, to refuse him would have crushed him." So i agreed to break up with my "best friend".........except i never did. "Here's the messed-up thing about the whole situation: I am now seeing Robert behind my husband's back! Went as far as changing  his name on my phone so i don't get caught.
 It's never been sexual(but i think about it). It feels wrong and silly but i like him. Now am really trying to cut him off but my heart skips when he calls or text me. How do i get out of this mess?!!!


Names in this story have been changed for confidentiality.
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